Where have I been???

It has been a month since I last blogged. Life has just been busy in terms of work and well.. summer is here so there are so many more activities.

Beautiful lake view on a run

I took some time last week to get away to the lake. It was a bit of an experiment really. I generally don’t enjoy spending a lot of time by myself. I usually last a day or so and then begin to get very bored. It actually worked out very well, and I totally enjoyed my time.

On yet another walk with the dogs

It was an opportunity to recharge my batteries, spend time reading, running and a ton of walks.  I brought two of the dogs with me so it was nice because I had no choice but to walk them, which felt like nearly every hour during the day.

Beautiful lake view on a run

After a very busy few weeks at work, it was a fantastic choice on my part to get away.  R came up to the lake on Canada Day morning and spent the weekend. My ladies Jodi and Jenn also came up and stayed at another campsite at the lake, so it made for a very fun weekend and Canada Day.

There isn’t any news that we can report on the adoption front. We continue to wait and keep our fingers crossed. On September 30th is our 1 year file update and review. That will be our time to decide if/how we would like to update our photos, maybe change our Dear birth parent letter, and then we also have to get updated criminal record checks and a home study update. In terms of the length of wait we have had we are still early in the waiting process for a match. There are many people that have been waiting much longer.  The universe will deliver for us though.

Start of the Manitoba Marathon

I recently completed the Manitoba Half Marathon at the end of June of Father’s Day. It was a very humid and hot run, but despite that I still managed to get a person best time. I’ll chock that up as an accomplishment. I have 4 or 5 more races scheduled this summer and will be running another half marathon in the Fire and Paramedics Half Marathon in October! It’ll be a good way to end the season, and even better that there will be no shortage of paramedics around in case I collapse. My goal is to once again get a personal best. I don’t want to put too much pressure on myself to be posting amazing times, I just want to see that I am improving with every race.

Now that things have calmed down a bit, I am also hoping to get more regular with my blogging. I missed it!

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Apologies Aren’t Necessary..

An interesting phenomenon is starting to happen. I’ve noticed that as people are either making their pregnancy announcements or introducing their new baby… I am getting a look.

The look is almost apologetic in nature, or as if to say.. “this must be hard for you, given you are waiting and all”.  Others seem to be waiting for a dramatic flood of tears as I flop myself down and wail “When’s it my turn? Where is my baby?”. It won’t happen. I’m not Susan Lucci.

It is absolutely hard to hear when others are adding to their family.  I would be lying if I said I didn’t have some version of the “When is it my turn?” thought. It doesn’t take away, however, from the joy I get seeing others so happy.

In an ideal world someone would step forward and say, “hey I’ll carry your baby for you”.  Just think how much easier that would be than constantly worrying that I’ll miss a call, or checking my phone because I swear I felt it vibrate.

Pregnancy announcements and new babies are amazing.  I can handle it. I can feel happy for you.  I have not hit the tantrum phase yet, and I will not grab your baby and run. lol.

You just have to surrender to the universe, put out the good thoughts and know that the baby you are meant to love is possibly being created at this very moment.  It could be anytime, it could be in six years.

I also have to realize it may also not happen.  Whatever the scenario, R and I have a happy life.  Being parents would just add to that happiness. Our relationship is not dependent on whether or not we have a child.  We have built a strong foundation of nearly 13 years together.  That foundation gives us the strength to wait.

For others, the frustration of trying to conceive or work through the adoption process can add a lot of stress to the relationship.. not everyone has the foundation we do to weather the storm.

We are good.  You can tell me if you are expecting… I can handle it.