How does one dress to demonstrate that they are ready to be a parent? A cardigan? A T-shirt that reads “Worlds Greatest Dad”?
Shortly after our engagement we booked ourselves into an information session with Adoption Options. They are the adoption agency that we will be working with through this journey. We have done a lot of research and know that this is the right organization for us.
When we explain to people that we will be looking at an open adoption, the reactions vary. We have heard everything from “What does that mean?” to “Doesn’t that worry you?”.
We think it is a beautiful option to be able to offer both our child and the Birth Mother the option of knowing each other, and to provide on going contact for our Birth Mother. The depth of ongoing contact is up to the Mother, but even if it is simply providing her with a yearly picture and letter, we think it is beautiful.
This video from Adoption Options is one of the most incredible videos showing the beauty of an open adoption.
We know our journey may be long, but it is just that..a journey and not a destination. There are application meetings, education sessions, preparing our file and home studies. Sounds daunting to some, but for us they are just steps along the path to parenthood.
Now that we have officially started our adoption process, I am looking at everything with fresh eyes. Trips to the mall I notice more babies than ever. I find myself thinking “oh this would be a great thing to share with our baby”, when we do things like pick our seasonal campsite for the summer or I walk past the Build a Bear in the mall.
Our reading lists are also beginning to change.. parenting books and books about adoption have become the norm.
We know in our hearts that we will be picked to be parents to a beautiful child. The day will come when the baby we were meant to raise is ready for us. Until then.. what does one wear to adoption information sessions?
It was the evening of our 11th anniversary, and we had just returned home from work. The plan was for us to go out for dinner to celebrate our 11 wonderful years together, and have a date night. I got dinner ready for Rob’s Dad (he lives with us), and then away we went.
As we are driving to the restaurant, I noticed that we were deviating from the typical route. I asked Rob “Where are we going?”, to which he informed me we just had to make a quick stop. We began to pull into the parking lot of the coffee shop where we had our very first date 11 years ago. My stomach fluttered as it always does when Rob does something romantic. I explained to him the coffee shop has been closed down for a couple of years now, and he said that he knew but wanted to come to where “it all began”. Then he parked and turned to me and began to speak.
“This is where it all started 11 years ago, and everyday I love you more. This has been a long time coming, and I should have done it years ago”. At this point he began to reach into his pocket (I began having an internal dialogue..OMG is this it? Is he proposing?). He pulled out a ring box, opened it to the perfect ring and said in the most confident tone “Will you marry me?”. My response? Well.. it wasn’t as I had rehearsed for the past 11 years. I responded with “Shut your mouth!” Then a “Yes”.
Rob proceeded to explain that we have been planning and talking about a baby since we first got together. Everything we have accomplished together was so that we could be ready and provide a baby with the best life and love possible. He further explained that he knew it was important to me that we were married as well when we finally start our family. He then said “Its time, lets find our baby”.
I began to cry. We have built our home with a huge backyard, for our future child. We have grown our careers to a very successful point, so we would be ready to provide our child with all of the opportunities. Along the way, we held off on starting the process because I wanted everything to be perfect for our future child.
It was then, in that moment in the vehicle, looking into Rob’s eyes that I realized everything WAS perfect. It was time.. time for us to grow our family, and time to truly make our lives complete with a child and share the love that we have.
So begins our journey. This blog will chronicle our journey, and eventually our lives as fathers.