This week was pretty awesome. We had our first one on one meeting with the adoption agency, started our application and left feeling great.This is the right time and absolutely the right decision!
Now we have some homework. Part of the process is for each of us to fill out two questionnaires. One questionnaire will make up part of our homestudy and the other will be part of the initial package presented to prospective birth moms.
The questions for the home study cover everything you can imagine, from how we were each raised, what forms of discipline were used by our parents to whether or not we are sexually compatible. It’s a very interesting process which really gets you thinking and talking as a couple. There are even questions about past dating experiences etc. I love the exercise! hen again, as a chronic overachiever I love homework and assignments… so I’m a little “different”.
The second question set are questions and information that will make up the first documents that will be presented to birth mothers. These are an opportunity for us to talk about who we are as people, what our family is like, our relationship, heritage and views on various elements of raising a child. Again, another great process and a chance to continue our dialogue as a couple.
These questions are good to review and talk about now, prior to the next step which is our two-day education session scheduled in May. We are trucking along!
One of the most wonderful part of this process has been the overwhelming support and love from all of our friends, family, co-workers and fellow bloggers. It gives us strength, it lets us know that not only are we loved, but that our child is going to be welcomed with open arms and incredible support. Both R and I and our future baby are very fortunate to have such an amazing support network.
It enables us to continue down this path with confidence and support. Thank you!!
We are in the midst of writing our Dear Birth Mom letter, sorting through photos and all of the other things you do to create the “right package”. While doing so, I have come to realize that this letter.. this package.. these photos are going to be the most important part of this process. It is the piece that tells the birth mothers that we are the parents they are looking for.
I’ve been drafting outlines for the information to include in our letter. The most difficult task has been determining “what is important?”. We have heard of parents being picked because they had a dog.. I’ve got 4 (but do we include that or do we sound like animal hoarders).
Do we communicate that I know every word to nearly every Disney song? Can recite The Sound of Music from beginning to end? Or how about that I successfully completed the babysitting course at the age of 12 1/2 and had a lucrative career as a babysitter through my teens? That shows I’m responsible right, and that I know what I’m doing? 🙂
Knowing that you are developing a letter that can change your life forever, and result in the family you have always wanted… is daunting to say the least!
My approach is going to be to just be us. Communicate that our house is full of laughter and love every day. We will support our child to make sound decisions, and turn missteps into learning opportunities. Encourage exploration, to be bold and for our child to know each and every day that they are special and loved more than anything.
The positive thing about the letter, is that it causes you to evaluate yourself. It encourages you to reflect on what is important for a child, and think about your experiences as a kid. But most importantly it makes you excited to become a parent! I can’t wait to be part of the parent club and in the wise words of Ariel…
“When’s it my turn?
Wouldn’t I love, love to explore that shore up above?…
Wish I could be
Part of that world”