Apologies Aren’t Necessary..

An interesting phenomenon is starting to happen. I’ve noticed that as people are either making their pregnancy announcements or introducing their new baby… I am getting a look.

The look is almost apologetic in nature, or as if to say.. “this must be hard for you, given you are waiting and all”.  Others seem to be waiting for a dramatic flood of tears as I flop myself down and wail “When’s it my turn? Where is my baby?”. It won’t happen. I’m not Susan Lucci.


It is absolutely hard to hear when others are adding to their family.  I would be lying if I said I didn’t have some version of the “When is it my turn?” thought. It doesn’t take away, however, from the joy I get seeing others so happy.

In an ideal world someone would step forward and say, “hey I’ll carry your baby for you”.  Just think how much easier that would be than constantly worrying that I’ll miss a call, or checking my phone because I swear I felt it vibrate.

Pregnancy announcements and new babies are amazing.  I can handle it. I can feel happy for you.  I have not hit the tantrum phase yet, and I will not grab your baby and run. lol.

You just have to surrender to the universe, put out the good thoughts and know that the baby you are meant to love is possibly being created at this very moment.  It could be anytime, it could be in six years.

I also have to realize it may also not happen.  Whatever the scenario, R and I have a happy life.  Being parents would just add to that happiness. Our relationship is not dependent on whether or not we have a child.  We have built a strong foundation of nearly 13 years together.  That foundation gives us the strength to wait.

For others, the frustration of trying to conceive or work through the adoption process can add a lot of stress to the relationship.. not everyone has the foundation we do to weather the storm.

We are good.  You can tell me if you are expecting… I can handle it.



25 Days of Gratitude

It is officially December 1st and the official start to the holiday season.  Every year around this time, I begin to reflect on the last year and all of the great things that have happened.

2015 was a very good year for R and I. We got engaged after 12 years, married and started our journey to become a family.  Yes there have been small bumps and detours along the way, but I really can’t remember them.  I am choosing instead to focus on the wonderful gifts 2015 gave me.

25 Days until Christmas… 25 Days of Gratitude

I have heard a lot of discussion about Advent Calendars lately, and on the radio they had asked the listeners “If you could create an advent calendar out of anything other than chocolate what would it be”.  Initially my mind went to wine…

Once my need for wine passed, I thought of a different spin on the Advent Calendar.  Each day between December 1 and 25 I am going to express my gratitude for 1 thing I am grateful for each  day.  So every morning rather than opening a calendar date and consuming a chocolate, I am going to open my heart and express my gratitude for one thing and write it down.

On New Years Eve as the clock approaches midnight I will review everything I wrote and end the year with gratitude and bring in the New Year with positive thoughts.

Day1:  I am grateful that I have found a forum to share, via my blog and that I have so many people that read it.