Monday is the first session with the adoption agency, and I have been thinking a lot about it. Even though it is simply an informational meeting with other parents, it symbolizes the first step finally taking place.
I was starting to think about whether we would be the only same-sex couple in the session, and how that would make me feel. Suddenly I got my regular email from Today’s Parent magazine.. and I took it as a sign. The article the email promoted was entitled “Cute Kids’ Books About Queer Families”. It was a great moment because it showed me that a main stream parenting magazine such as Today’s Parent, is now recognizing families like ours. I had subscribed for the amazing articles etc. but it was great to finally see us in this article.
One book in particular Stella Brings the Family, by Miriam B Schiffer , talks about the situation where Stella isn’t sure if she should bring her Papa or her Daddy to the Mother’s Day party at school. It occurred to me that when I was in school, we would always do special projects for Mother’s day. What would happen in our situation? Would R and I just divide the days? One would get Mother’s Day and one would get Father’s Day?? Interesting that I hadn’t thought of it before.
For all of my teacher friends out there, have you encountered this type of situation before? How do you handle it? To avoid confusion we already know that I will be Daddy and R will be Dad.. but I hadn’t thought about the Mother’s Day situation.
Regardless, I was very proud that Today’s Parent produces articles for families like ours and I am even more glad that I have a subscription.
As the dynamics of families change, I am hopeful that the school divisions are more mindful of types of families and adjust accordingly.
Thanks Today’s Parent for getting me thinking, and for including families like ours in your magazine.
It was the evening of our 11th anniversary, and we had just returned home from work. The plan was for us to go out for dinner to celebrate our 11 wonderful years together, and have a date night. I got dinner ready for Rob’s Dad (he lives with us), and then away we went.
As we are driving to the restaurant, I noticed that we were deviating from the typical route. I asked Rob “Where are we going?”, to which he informed me we just had to make a quick stop. We began to pull into the parking lot of the coffee shop where we had our very first date 11 years ago. My stomach fluttered as it always does when Rob does something romantic. I explained to him the coffee shop has been closed down for a couple of years now, and he said that he knew but wanted to come to where “it all began”. Then he parked and turned to me and began to speak.
“This is where it all started 11 years ago, and everyday I love you more. This has been a long time coming, and I should have done it years ago”. At this point he began to reach into his pocket (I began having an internal dialogue..OMG is this it? Is he proposing?). He pulled out a ring box, opened it to the perfect ring and said in the most confident tone “Will you marry me?”. My response? Well.. it wasn’t as I had rehearsed for the past 11 years. I responded with “Shut your mouth!” Then a “Yes”.
Rob proceeded to explain that we have been planning and talking about a baby since we first got together. Everything we have accomplished together was so that we could be ready and provide a baby with the best life and love possible. He further explained that he knew it was important to me that we were married as well when we finally start our family. He then said “Its time, lets find our baby”.
I began to cry. We have built our home with a huge backyard, for our future child. We have grown our careers to a very successful point, so we would be ready to provide our child with all of the opportunities. Along the way, we held off on starting the process because I wanted everything to be perfect for our future child.
It was then, in that moment in the vehicle, looking into Rob’s eyes that I realized everything WAS perfect. It was time.. time for us to grow our family, and time to truly make our lives complete with a child and share the love that we have.
So begins our journey. This blog will chronicle our journey, and eventually our lives as fathers.