Apologies Aren’t Necessary..

An interesting phenomenon is starting to happen. I’ve noticed that as people are either making their pregnancy announcements or introducing their new baby… I am getting a look.

The look is almost apologetic in nature, or as if to say.. “this must be hard for you, given you are waiting and all”.  Others seem to be waiting for a dramatic flood of tears as I flop myself down and wail “When’s it my turn? Where is my baby?”. It won’t happen. I’m not Susan Lucci.

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It is absolutely hard to hear when others are adding to their family.  I would be lying if I said I didn’t have some version of the “When is it my turn?” thought. It doesn’t take away, however, from the joy I get seeing others so happy.

In an ideal world someone would step forward and say, “hey I’ll carry your baby for you”.  Just think how much easier that would be than constantly worrying that I’ll miss a call, or checking my phone because I swear I felt it vibrate.

Pregnancy announcements and new babies are amazing.  I can handle it. I can feel happy for you.  I have not hit the tantrum phase yet, and I will not grab your baby and run. lol.

You just have to surrender to the universe, put out the good thoughts and know that the baby you are meant to love is possibly being created at this very moment.  It could be anytime, it could be in six years.

I also have to realize it may also not happen.  Whatever the scenario, R and I have a happy life.  Being parents would just add to that happiness. Our relationship is not dependent on whether or not we have a child.  We have built a strong foundation of nearly 13 years together.  That foundation gives us the strength to wait.

For others, the frustration of trying to conceive or work through the adoption process can add a lot of stress to the relationship.. not everyone has the foundation we do to weather the storm.

We are good.  You can tell me if you are expecting… I can handle it.

 

 

Summer Time and the Living is Easy…

I appeared to have taken a month-long hiatus from blogging. Where does the time go? Before you ask.. no there hasn’t been any movement on the adoption front.  Still waiting for a match…

Meanwhile, we are in full summer mode already! We’ve set up our seasonal spot at the lake and have already spent two weekends away.  It is wonderful! Getting a new camper has changed the entire summer experience.

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Part of the main living space in the camper.

Even when the weather doesn’t cooperate, I can still enjoy a relaxing weekend away without being cold, miserable and bored. The space is also much better to blog in, so expect more frequent entries this summer.

This year there are so many more kids on our bay at the lake too. The road is covered in chalk drawings, kids racing around on bikes and a few of the couples we met last summer are showing up with new additions to their family.

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Seating for two.. and eventually 3.

It is great to see and we know we’ll join that club someday soon. R and I don’t necessarily talk about it while we are there, we just have to share a glance or a smile to know that the other is thinking the same thing, “I can’t wait to share this with our baby”.

This summer I am once again focusing on running.  I’m already completed a 15 km race and a couple 5 km.  I have two half-marathons and 4 other races before fall.  My first half marathon this year is on Father’s Day… so it will be a nice

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My running partner in crime Jodi and I after finishing our 15 km race.

distraction to focus on crossing a finish line alive, rather than sulking about the passing of another Father’s Day without being a father.

This summer will  be chocked full of fun, relaxation and adventures! Let the fun begin.

It will also help me to stop checking my phone to see if it still works because we haven’t received a call from the adoption agency yet!