Crying on the street? No, there is something in my eye…

I’m currently in Toronto on business and took some time last night to wander the village.

Tourist shot
Tourist shot


As per usual it was all a buzz with action, people and the like. I like to get away and immerse myself in the hustle and bustle of a bigger city now and then, the energy can beintoxicating, while at the same time it makes me thankful for the quiet relaxed pace at home.

I took some time to browse through the massive Indigo store in Eaton Centre. Their children’s section is incredible… HUGE. I found a number of books that I’ve written down for when our baby arrives. They were children’s books that are reflective of what our family will be like.  I think that it is important to have these as a jumping point to address questions and normalize to an extent what it means to have two Dad’s.

Stella Brings The Family - By Miriam B. Schiffer
Stella Brings The Family – By Miriam B. Schiffer

That being said, what I don’t like about these books is that each one of them has the same message.  “Some people have 1 Mom, some people have two, some have 1 Dad and others have two”. Good message, but I want books that just happen to have two Dad’s and not always trying to drive home the same message at nauseum.

This has inspired me that maybe I need to write a few children’s books, if anything just so I can have them for our child.  Hmmm.. I either have to take an art class or find myself an illustrator.

After leaving the book store, I walked further along and made my way along Church street.  The air was thick with humidity and people were making their way into the bars and patios.  I reflected back on the time in my life where that is exactly where I would have been going on a night like this. My priorities have changed and I find myself becoming consumed with the thought of becoming a Dad. My mind was drifting to thoughts of our future baby and our life together, I was making mental lists of things we can do, trips to take as a family… really I was all over the map.  Just ahead of me I saw a stroller coming off a side street.  I’m more aware of these now a days.  I see a stroller and I note the model, type and functionality. Then I noticed the couple pushing the stroller were two Dad’s.

I’m not sure whether to blame it on my being tired, the heat or where my mind set was, but I felt a wave of emotion creeping up on me.  I could feel the tightening of my chest, the flush in my cheeks and then the tears.  Why was I crying?  I’ve seen couples out with their babies a million times, and it has never reduced me to tears.  Was it that I was better able to visualize my future?  I’m not sure what it was, but thank goodness for large dark sunglasses or people would have noticed.  I decided to sit under a nearby tree and regroup.  I’ll blame my lapse in emotional control on the heat, or maybe… something was just in my eye.  I saw my future, and it was beautiful.

What’s In A Name?

imagesCAGS0V33An iconic quote from Romeo and Juliet, but is it true when it comes to naming your baby?

I will admit that I have been compiling potential baby names for years.  A little premature? Maybe.  However, I think the name you choose for your child can directly impact their future, and is a huge responsibility.  It is the first impression people have of you.  I am sure that someone named “Bambi” (“i” dotted with a heart of course) conjures a very different mental image than say, “Charlotte”.

Over the years I have seen the changes in baby names.  A few years back most of the top boys names read as a page out of the bible, with names like Noah, Joshua and all of the 12 Apostles. Then there was the Irish/Gaelic phase with names like Liam and Ethan.  Now, baby names seem to be a mix of the Golden Girls meets retirement village with names such as Rose, Sophia and Violet.

We are trying to deviate from the top 10 in our name selections.  The biggest challenge has been that once we decide on a name, someone has a baby and then use one of the names we had selected.  Those of you that have struggled over the name selection know how frustrating this can be.  Settling on a name can take hours or days of negotiating, using the “power of veto”, and navigating the sea of “no we can’t use that one, I knew someone named that and they were a jerk”.

So what is the etiquette around naming your baby?  Do you avoid names that people you know have already used?  Is there a scale of political correctness? Something like… “Casual Facebook friends -O.k”, “Co-worker- No”? 

We had totally settled on a first and one middle name for a girl (we are reserving a spot for the birth parents to potentially gift another middle name).  We appeared to be home free, until I got the newsletter last week from the adoption agency.  There in the section that celebrates new arrivals was an adorable little girl with the first and middle name we had chosen. Doh!?

We’ll just have to choose a name that is right for us and our baby, but with so many people having children… I’m starting to run out of names.

Top Baby Names for 2015:

Rank Male Female
1 Liam Emma
2 Noah Olivia
3 Ethan Sophia
4 Mason Ava
5 Logan Isabella
6 Lucas Mia
7 Jackson Charlotte
8 Oliver Amelia
9 Aiden Emily
10 Jacob Madison