It has been a couple of weeks since I have done any blogging. Truthfully you can write only so many “still waiting” blog entries.
On Friday we attended the Adoption Options Conceiving Dreams Fundraising gala. It was a really fun event, with amazing people in attendance. We had a great table of people, and had the opportunity to meet many others. What I liked most about the event was that they had a slide show of all of the forever families that were created over the last year. It was very moving and helped to boost our hopes of becoming parents soon. There was also a Birth Mother that spoke, and she shared with us her process in making a placement decision. The process was still very fresh, as she had only gone through it six months ago. It was beautiful to hear about how she made the decision she did, and of the great relationship she now shares with the adoptive parents of her birth child.
As November is Adoption Awareness Month, the event always takes place in November. In attendance this year were also a couple who were featured in a recent article in Today’s Parent Magazine. I subscribe to the magazine, so when I read the article it really resonated with me. Both because of their touching story, but also because it was an example of a reversal story that was shared with us in our weekend education session.. and was probably the story that scared me the most.
R and I spoke with several adoptive parents at the event, and we heard about their experience. We also learned that there are so many difference in the wait times. We met some that waited less than two months, others that waited a couple of years. You secretly hope that you will be one of the lucky ones to match early, but as they say, you will be matched with the child you were meant to parent. So when that happens is beyond your control.
Conceiving Dreams is a fantastic event, and I encourage people to think about attending or donating next year. I am so excited about the event next year, that I have already volunteered to be on the organizing committee!
Hearing all of these stories of waiting, it got me thinking about how I am passing the time. I realized I am not measuring my wait in days or months, but rather I find myself
measuring our wait in milestones. “Maybe we’ll have a baby by Thanks Giving”, and once that holiday had passed it turned into “Baby by Halloween?”. Currently my focus is “Baby by Christmas”. As each holiday milestone approaches I find myself researching and planning in the event of a sudden arrival. I will want to be ready so I can make that first holiday with us the best holiday ever. You don’t necessarily have months of lead time in open adoption. It can literally be a matter of days or a day from selection to placement. You need to be ready for any possibility.
I have started to make a list of Christmas traditions we will start, I’ve got all of my Christmas stocking patterns in my favourites and have started thinking about whether we will be those Christmas card parents. Who am I kidding?! Of course we will be.
Measuring the wait in holiday milestones may seem like a painful way to approach things, but the reality is it makes the time go by quicker. It also gives me something to focus on rather than watching my phone, hoping to see Adoption Options pop up on the caller I.D.
There are some great articles and blogs out there that help parents to make baby’s firsts special. Rainy Day Mum talks about starting traditions with your child, such as advent calendars, stockings etc.
In the meantime, we continue to wait for the call. Maybe this year Santa will bring us something special. If not, there is always Arbor Day.